We can all agree on this one thing: Change can be daunting. It often comes with a sense of fear and uncertainty, particularly when we’re faced with the challenge of leaving behind something familiar. I know what that feels like because I’ve been there.
I grew up in a household where my mother was abusive to me and my siblings. It definitely left deep scars, both physical and emotional. As the first and oldest daughter, I received the brunt of her anger. She loved to yell and hit at the same time. If we didn’t get out of bed early enough, we’d get screamed at and yanked violently by the feet to wake up. If I didn’t get started on dinner right after I got home from school, the consequences were severe—repeated slaps that would leave my lip bleeding. Her expectations and demands always took precedence over my schoolwork. I truly believe my mother enjoyed inflicting physical pain to others. Even after I became a mother myself at 25, the fear of her wrath loomed large over my life, tormenting me with punches, slaps, and curses that cut deep.
It wasn’t until my then one-year-old son witnessed my mother physically abuse me that I realized something had to change. His startled cries pulled at my heartstrings and opened my eyes to the painful reality of our lives. I understood in that moment that I needed to break the cycle—not just for myself, but for him too.
I remember when I shared my decision to go live on my own with some close friends and family members, one person said to me, “You can’t just walk away from the only thing that’s been constant in your life.” I knew she meant being in a stable environment, having food and shelter, etc… But it was actually her words that made realize how deeply I had clung to the familiar, even when it was destructive. We often adhere to the constants in our lives, seeking comfort in what we know, even when it harms us. But I was willing to made this necessary change and I was determined to embrace it, fully understanding that just because something has always been there doesn’t mean it is needed or healthy for me.
When that need for change hit me, it felt like a wake-up call, forcing me to reassess my life and step outside my comfort zone to discover who I truly was and what I truly wanted. Yes, taking that step to move away from my mother was undoubtedly the hardest decision I have ever made. But you know what? It’s a choice I will never regret.
If you decide to reflect on your life, before you make any decision that can alter your life forever, or turn your back on something that’s always been there, ask yourself: “Is this truly serving me?” You might find that most of the time the answer is no. Sometimes, the things we’ve relied on the most can become chains that hold us back from reaching our fullest potential. Just because something has been a part of our lives doesn’t automatically grant it importance or relevance in our future.
Consider the analogy of an old pair of shoes. They may have walked with you through countless adventures, but if they’re worn-out and uncomfortable, do you really want to keep wearing them? The answer is likely no. Similarly, why should we hold onto relationships, careers, situations, or lifestyles that no longer resonate with who we are or who we aspire to be?
Sometimes, you need to take a step back and evaluate what truly matters. Just because something once brought stability or familiarity doesn’t mean it should continue to do so, especially if it hurts you more than it serves you. Don’t be afraid to challenge the status quo, it can be one of the most empowering decisions you make. It might feel like turning your back on the past, but in reality, it’s about forging a path towards your safer and brighter future.
Yes, you can let go!
Letting go doesn’t necessarily mean losing everything; rather, it opens doors to new opportunities and experiences that can elevate and enrich your life in ways you never imagined. You create space for new relationships and ventures that align more closely with your vision, desires, and values. Imagine stepping into a vibrant new chapter with clarity and purpose! When you let go of old constants, you don’t just made room for growth, you also make room for exploration.
Finding new and better constants
Some of us have issues letting go simply because we don’t have something else to grab on to. So, what can replace the constants you’ve decided to release? First things first, focus on nurturing the relationships and practices that empower you. Be a little selfish and establish new habits that promote your own personal growth. Surround yourself with people who inspire and support you. Engage in activities that excite you and energize you. The beauty of life is that we have the freedom to reinvent ourselves. Each day presents a chance to forge new paths. This means you can cultivate positive change and create new constants.
Remember, it’s okay to leave behind what doesn’t feel right or contribute to your wellbeing, even if it’s been a part of your life for an extended period. The discomfort of change is often the catalyst for a better life; don’t be afraid of it. Trust in your ability to find your way through new paths. I’ll say this again: just because something has always been there doesn’t mean it is necessary for your journey ahead.
A personal note:
Familiarity often provides a false sense of security. Change however is necessary in order for you to grow. Just as seasons transition from summer to autumn, you must also allow yourself the room to evolve. If you find yourself standing at a crossroads, know that change, though daunting, can lead to a life filled with joy, purpose, and the freedom you deserve. You are stronger than you think. It’s time to start writing a new chapter in your story. The best is yet to come!
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