Being a single parent is undoubtedly a life-altering experience filled with a range of emotions. It never really crossed my mind but writing about this topic made me realize that I have been a single mother for nearly half of my existence. I’m not gonna lie… IT. IS. HARD. I have had as many days of joy and excitement as I’ve had of fear, anger and sadness.
From my experience I will say this: single parenthood is demanding, both emotionally and physically. Balancing the responsibilities of parenting, work, household management, and personal well-being without a partner to share the load can get overwhelming. And the weight of these obligations is often coupled with feelings of isolation, frustration, and self-doubt.
Trust me when I say I have had more than my fair share of staying up all night crying because I felt like I was drowning and no one was there to save me. But in spite of all of that, my experience has been beautiful, exhilarating, surprising and very fulfilling.
As a single mother, I have embarked on this journey which has greatly challenged me, shaped me, and taught me invaluable lessons about myself, life, and of course motherhood. It changed me in ways I never imagined. I am more patient now, more resilient, more understanding, more accepting and wiser. I really love the person I have become. As difficult as it has been raising two boys, I would do it all over again in a blank of any eye. The rewards are truly priceless.
Though this process I learned that single parenthood is a path of self-discovery and growth. It’s a role filled with strength, sacrifices and many many mistakes. Every step of the way they are lessons to be learned. So if you find it too difficult or if you feel you’re struggling alone, my dear friend you are not alone. Know that it’s perfectly okay to feel the wide range of emotions that come with this unique path. Emotions like feeling overwhelmed, loneliness, self-doubt, etc…Pulling from my own experience here are a few strategies to help you navigate this chapter of your life.
Give yourself time
Allow yourself time to feel and process the different emotions that come with being a single parent. It’s okay to feel uncertainty, excitement, anger, fear, or sadness. Be patient with yourself and understand that it’s a normal part of this special journey.
Focus on what you can control
It’s crucial that you accept there are certain things beyond your control. Bad shit will happen. Instead, shift your focus to the things you can control, such as creating a loving, safe and nurturing environment for your children.
Invest in self-care
I cannot stress this enough. Never neglect your well-being. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, exercise whenever possible and engaging in activities that nurture your soul. That’s how I was able to build a strong foundation that empowered me to thrive as a single parent.
Practice self-love and acceptance
A positive inner dialogue can keep you motivated. And practice self-love daily too. This is where positive affirmations become necessary. Constantly remind yourself that you too deserve happiness and fulfillment as an individual and as a parent.
Recognize your strengths
Take pride in your ability to provide love, care, and support for your children. Focus on the positive aspects of your parenting journey and celebrate your achievements along the way. You are keeping alive and taking care of a tiny human who can later become anything they wish to become. If this isn’t worth celebrating, I don’t know what is.
Ask for help when needed
Hey, it’s perfectly okay to ask for help when you need it. Let me tell you, if it wasn’t for my sister Rachelle, I’m not sure I’d be here writing this. So don’t be ashamed to reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can offer guidance and lend a helping hand when you need it.
Embrace learning and new directions
Being a single parent is an opportunity for personal growth. It’s a time to learn more and explore new directions in your life. I like to call parenting “self learning school”. That’s where you find out on your own that the only way to solve your problems is to do what feels right to you. It’s all about adjusting and adapting.
My wonderful friend, never forget that you are not alone on this journey. Stay focused on your strengths, seek support when needed, and believe in your ability to create a beautiful and fulfilling life for both you and your children.