Sometimes life sucks. Why? Because it just does. In actuality, we all have our struggles in life, albeit some of us more than others. That’s why no matter how hard it gets I never pretend my load of crap carries more weight than someone else’s. Contrary to how I may feel, “my” worst moment can never be “the” worst moment in this world. And the same goes for everyone. Once we can accept that, we’ll be in a better mindset to face our trials.
Having said that, it still doesn’t diminish the fact when we experience certain “life sucks” moments, all we want to do is bitch and complain. It’s human nature. When things don’t go the way we expect them to go we get disappointed, frustrated, angry, and we vent. How else would we express stress?
Last month in particular was very stressful for me. A lot of things kept going wrong and I felt so desperate and helpless. One major problem was the new combo washer/dryer I bought three months prior. It broke down and I had no choice but to wait 19 days for the store to send a technician over to repair it. As if that wasn’t frustrating enough, when the day of the appointment arrived the technician was a no call, no show. Unbelievable!
After calling the store to reschedule I had to wait yet another week. I was told that was the best they could do. I admit at that point I was very angry. Every chance I got I complained about the store and how much I regretted doing business with them. I also complained about the technician and how inconsiderate he was. But mostly I complained about life and its sometimes unfair, unnecessary, soul crushing, and nasty curveballs.
Normally I wouldn’t describe myself as a whiner; however, there have been times when I complained more than I should. Last month was one of those times. Now that things have settled, I realize had I handled the situation differently, I could have been more productive. I feel like I caused myself additional stress by refusing to accept the situation for what it was and actively work to find a faster solution.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying complaining is a bad thing. Au contraire, when done effectively it can actually help gain clarity and serve as a powerful means for finding suitable solutions or achieving great results. However, I believe it can also become harmful when we do it excessively since it carries the kind of energy that is low and very negative. Besides, this experience has taught me when we keep ruminating the same problems to the same people, they might find it annoying. My very own loving sister told me I was annoying for complaining so much. No one wants to be around someone that is constantly whining.
In my never-ending quest to keep improving, I have decided to set limits on how much and how often I engage in the following counterproductive behaviors.
Complaining about things I cannot change — It’s bad for the mood, it’s annoying, and frankly nobody cares. If it doesn’t help solve my problem, it’s just a waste of time and energy.
Blaming others — The first thing many of us do when things go wrong is putting the blame on something or someone else. Chances are we are equally at fault, or no one is at fault. I need to remind myself that life just sucks sometimes. I also need to understand and accept that I alone am responsible for my feelings, actions, and reactions to what life throws at me.
Judging — Whether consciously or unconsciously, we’ve all done it. It’s human instinct. We often look down on others as if we are better. And many times we are our own harshest critic. All too often we forget that our preconception and opinions aren’t facts. I must become aware of these impulses so I can be less judgmental and more accepting of myself and others. I need to learn to ‘live and let live.’ I need to become a better ME.
Love and growth,
Carli
2 Responses
Well said Carls! I felt that!
💛 I’m so glad you felt that! Thank you.